DYING IN THE HANDS OF WILL
“Envision your own death” were the words of our frater on the last night of our retreat. It struck my core; the word that I have often feared is now forcing itself on my imagination…death. The word itself drives me agonizing with grief, and pushes my sanity to condemn. All I know is that it has the most power to stop anyone’s world from revolving, from living. I have experienced life and death in my own palm, I've roamed the breathing earth for sixteen years of existence and yet, I am but a girl with a crooked halo…nothing. Right when I was in the state of “growing mind”, I lost my beloved grandparents and I knew, half of me sank. Lately, another wonderful friend left, I couldn't help myself asking why it has to be them when all along, they were those people who lived their lives with righteousness and faith. But questioning God’s will had never relieved my pains. It’s very hard to lose someone you need, however, it is much sorrowful to let go of someone who needs you. Maybe that’s what death is, a path where you stop breathing, but a road where you must trod and continue living God’s principles. I know I’m only one of those people who suffered life’s guilt and flaws… how could I contemplate my own death when I never even think of thinking about the word? Oh well, maybe its true that each and every one of us should better be prepared because no one is indispensable from it…death. As God assesses us everyday, we will never know when or how we will die. It may be until our hair turns gray and we begin to forget our names, but who knows? It may be another minute from now. Should we really fear death? Or stick to the fraud that it is but a plague? Little by little, I understand… we must never weep forever but be happy that our loved ones are finally in the cradle of our creator; death must not be an end, but a beginning; death must not be a departure, but an arrival; death must not be losing, but winning; death must not be grieving, but believing in the promise of eternal life. Yes, I now know how to envision my own death… simple, I want everyone to remember me as the girl who always believed in friendship and love, who always loved and shared happiness. I want everyone to remember me as the “Yzah” who’s always ready to give a smile. In that way, I am more than better and happy in facing the hands of death… it must not be feared, because it’s worth the pain. At least we’ll be with…Him…=)
I wrote this when I was 16 and lost it. Yesterday when I decided to clean up my room I found the draft under piles of old books and dusty shelves. You wouldn't imagine my joy, this article was also the exact speech I gave when my best friend Hyubz died of Leukemia 3 years ago. I love this, I really treasure this and I can say that this of all is my favorite.
“Envision your own death” were the words of our frater on the last night of our retreat. It struck my core; the word that I have often feared is now forcing itself on my imagination…death. The word itself drives me agonizing with grief, and pushes my sanity to condemn. All I know is that it has the most power to stop anyone’s world from revolving, from living. I have experienced life and death in my own palm, I've roamed the breathing earth for sixteen years of existence and yet, I am but a girl with a crooked halo…nothing. Right when I was in the state of “growing mind”, I lost my beloved grandparents and I knew, half of me sank. Lately, another wonderful friend left, I couldn't help myself asking why it has to be them when all along, they were those people who lived their lives with righteousness and faith. But questioning God’s will had never relieved my pains. It’s very hard to lose someone you need, however, it is much sorrowful to let go of someone who needs you. Maybe that’s what death is, a path where you stop breathing, but a road where you must trod and continue living God’s principles. I know I’m only one of those people who suffered life’s guilt and flaws… how could I contemplate my own death when I never even think of thinking about the word? Oh well, maybe its true that each and every one of us should better be prepared because no one is indispensable from it…death. As God assesses us everyday, we will never know when or how we will die. It may be until our hair turns gray and we begin to forget our names, but who knows? It may be another minute from now. Should we really fear death? Or stick to the fraud that it is but a plague? Little by little, I understand… we must never weep forever but be happy that our loved ones are finally in the cradle of our creator; death must not be an end, but a beginning; death must not be a departure, but an arrival; death must not be losing, but winning; death must not be grieving, but believing in the promise of eternal life. Yes, I now know how to envision my own death… simple, I want everyone to remember me as the girl who always believed in friendship and love, who always loved and shared happiness. I want everyone to remember me as the “Yzah” who’s always ready to give a smile. In that way, I am more than better and happy in facing the hands of death… it must not be feared, because it’s worth the pain. At least we’ll be with…Him…=)
I wrote this when I was 16 and lost it. Yesterday when I decided to clean up my room I found the draft under piles of old books and dusty shelves. You wouldn't imagine my joy, this article was also the exact speech I gave when my best friend Hyubz died of Leukemia 3 years ago. I love this, I really treasure this and I can say that this of all is my favorite.
1 comment:
Hi, thanks for the message but I don't see any link of my two blogs in your page? Am I right or I just don't see them..anyway..thanks for visiting my sites.
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